David
Joined: 19 May 2004
Posts: 754
Location: Atlanta, GA
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| Posted: Tue Aug 08, 2006 4:53 am Post subject: Chuck Norris "Facts" |
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Pretty Hillarious stuff...
Here are a couple of my favorites:
1) If at first you don't succeed, you are not Chuck Norris.
2) Chuck Norris visited the Virgin Islands. They are now called The Islands.
3) Chuck Norris went to Burger King and asked for a Big Mac and got it
4) Chuck Norris doesn't sleep. He waits.
5) Chuck Norris once ate his entire birthday cake, and then his friends told him there was a "pop up" lady inside.
This site is #1 on Google for Chuck Norris:
http://www.chucknorrisfacts.com/
More:
Chuck Norris doesn't kill two birds with one stone. Chuck Norris kills all birds, with two stones. The ones in his pants.
Chuck Norris knows the last digit of pi.
Those aren't credits that roll after Walker Texas Ranger. It is actually a list of fatalities that occurred during the making of the episode.
Chuck Norris enjoys a good practical joke. His favorite is where he removes your lower intestine and pretends to make a balloon animal out of it. Then he cracks your skull open with a Volvo for not complimenting him on his balloon animal.
There are now five cup sizes at Starbucks: Short, Tall, Grande, Venti, and Chuck Norris.
Instead of having a cigarette after sex, Chuck Norris heads outside and brands his cattle.
He, who laughs last, laughs best. He who laughs at Chuck Norris … dies.
In ancient China there is a legend that one day a child will be born from a dragon, grow to be a man, and vanquish evil from the land. That man is not Chuck Norris, because Chuck Norris killed that man.
When you play Monopoly with Chuck Norris, you do not pass go, and you do not collect two hundred dollars. You will be lucky if you make it out alive. |
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