Wife sent me these blonde jokes

David · Joined: 19 May 2004 Posts: 754 Location: Atlanta, GA

Did you hear about the two blondes who froze to death in a
drive-in movie? They went to see "Closed for the Winter."

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Why did the blonde resolve to have only 3 children? She heard
that one out of every four children born in the world was Chinese...

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Did you hear about the near-tragedy at the mall? There was a
power outage, and twelve blondes were stuck on the escalators for over
four hours.

****************

A blonde was driving home after a game and got caught in a
really bad hailstorm. Her car was covered with dents, so the next day
she took it to a repair shop The shop owner saw that she was a blonde,
so he decided to have some fun.He told her just to go home and blow into
the tail pipe really hard, and all the dents would pop out. So, the
blonde went home, got down on her hands and knees and started blowing
into her tailpipe. Nothing happened. So she blew a little harder, and
still nothing happened. Her roommate, another blonde, came home and
said, "What are you doing?" The first blonde told her how the repairman
had instructed her to blow into the tail pipe in order to get all the
dents to pop out. The roommate rolled her eyes and said, "Uh, like
hello! You need to roll up the windows first."

****************

A blonde went to an eye doctor to have her eyes checked for
glasses. The doctor directed her to read various letters with the left
eye while covering the right eye. The blonde was so mixed up on which
eye was which that the eye doctor, in disgust, took a paper lunch bag
with a hole to see through, covered up the appropriate eye and asked her
to read the letters. As he did so, he noticed the blonde had tears
streaming down her face. "Look," said the doctor, "there's no need to
get emotional about getting glasses." "I know," agreed the blonde, "But
I kind of had my heart set on wire frames.

****************
A blonde was shopping at a Target Store and came across a
silver thermos. She was quite fascinated by it, so she picked it up and
brought it over to the clerk to ask what it was. The clerk said, "That's
a thermos . . . it keeps some things hot and some things cold" "Wow,
said the blonde, "that's amazing. I'm going to buy it!" So she bought
the thermos and took it to work the next day. Her boss saw it on her
desk.
"What do you have there?" he asked.
"Why, that's a thermos . . . it keeps hot things hot and cold
things cold," she replied.
Her boss inquired, "What do you have in it? "
The blond replied, "Two Popsicles, and some coffee".

Topdawg · Joined: 16 Jul 2007 Posts: 9 Location: Charleston, WV

A blonde had just totaled her car in a horrific accident. Miraculously, she managed to pry herself from the wreckage without a scratch and was applying fresh lipstick when the state trooper arrived.

"My God!" the trooper gasped. "Your car looks like an accordion that was stomped on by an elephant. Are you OK ma'am?"
"Yes, officer, I'm just fine" the blonde chirped.
"Well, how in the world did this happen?" the officer asked as he surveyed the wrecked car.

"Officer, it was the strangest thing!" the blonde began. I was driving along this road when from out of nowhere this TREE pops up in front of me. So I swerved to the right, and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ANOTHER tree! I served to the right and there was another tree! I swerved to the left and there was ...."

"Uh, ma'am", the officer said, cutting her off, "There isn't a tree on this road for 30 miles. That was your air freshener swinging back and forth."

neverchange · Joined: 12 Jul 2007 Posts: 9

air freshener.. not bad :D

teamuk · Joined: 02 Jun 2008 Posts: 2

Very good, i've heard the traffic light version, someone has just swapped tree for traffic lights.

freddyb45 · Joined: 28 Aug 2008 Posts: 15

:-) I like the one about the escalator.

2809.blanche · Joined: 13 Nov 2008 Posts: 5

Not bad, not bad :)

I love the one with the escalator .. great fun guys ..

I hope there will be more soon ;)

M0rt · Joined: 19 Nov 2008 Posts: 5

freddyb45 wrote: :-) I like the one about the escalator.

Me too

Jenie0109 · Joined: 27 Jan 2009 Posts: 307 Location: chicago IL

thats a good one!

schatzi · Joined: 01 Mar 2009 Posts: 6

I'm thanking God that I'm a brunette. =)

AliceDenis · Joined: 23 Jun 2009 Posts: 3

I am not blond,,,,thanks God!! and will never become =))
but the jokes were really funny =))

jimb12345 · Joined: 24 Jun 2009 Posts: 55

this is so good. my wife is a blond.

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